Weekly World News!

The issue with the Hillary Clinton alien love nest cover story has a story on people finding crop circles shaved into the backs of their heads. I will pay money to you if you do this and send me documentation. I want to start a fad.

Also, for the Pratchetteers, I kid you not: There is also a half-page devoted to a humorously shaped vegetable (a carrot). That one didn't make the website, but it's pg. 20.