gement | Where's my cow? (Reply)

So on Monday I worked out (with help) that I'd been chemically depressed for at least a week, probably longer. I've been much, much worse, and I'm dealing with it earlier and more directly than I suspect I ever have before. But it still sucks.

It was a royally huge tip-off that something was wrong last Friday when I skipped tutoring, then sat at my computer in the dark all day loathing myself instead of either tutoring or working on classwork. Then at 5:30 Jason called and said, "We're missing Terry Pratchett!" to which I replied, "Crap! I've got tickets already!" to which he exulted, "Great, it's at 7, we can make it in plenty of time"... and it took almost half an hour of coaching to get me out of the house.

Possible chemical effects there. The appearance was fantastic, by the way, even though it was immediately preceded by eating a cheeseburger from a campus vending machine which was obviously leased by Mr. Dibbler. I've never before been that daunted by finishing a burger. I mean... gristle! Nyeaugh.

Which reminds me, last time he was here, I got a copy of "Where's My Cow?", which I have since, ironically, lost. I'm really wondering if I loaned it to one of y'all. So, where's my cow?

In other news, since I was frozen in despair for a good week or so, I've been running like mad for several days to keep up with suddenly-due assignments, and then last night I was flattened by a migraine, so today marks my first late assignment in grad school ever. And I feel justified instead of ashamed. Go me. I think.

Edit: Oh, right, really go me! Monday, having identified that I was really truly depressed and having a sobbing fit from the pain of the realization, I had Jason phone-escort me out of the house down to my bus stop. I fiddled with using the headset for the first time and made sure I had my backpack and realized as the bus rolled up and I reached for my pass that... my belt pack wasn't on. That's right, receptacle of my keys, money, ID, and bus pass was locked in my house.

And my Vimes programming kicked in. I spent a moment panicking, then turned south and started walking toward campus. I go to class. No matter what. Got there three minutes late. The perfect attendance record is intact, and if that set of circumstances didn't stop me, well, I won't say "nothing will," but anything that does I'll feel justified in not attending.

(Special thanks to