Adoption issues alert

[gement]

I usually don't rage, rage against the madness of the system publicly, but I think this one needs to be spread further, since I know a few families who have been considering adoption. All of those families care very, very deeply about keeping families together if possible.

Please check carefully and be aware that, international or domestic, there's a very high risk of stolen babies, even if the paperwork looks clean. Moominmuppet's link roundup is succinct. This doesn't apply to the hard to adopt, the sick/disabled/HIV-positive/abused kids who are old enough to talk. But it sounds like healthy infants are nearly a no-go.

Comments

[gement.livejournal.com]

Yay! Yes, I had a three year old foster sister for a year. She made us crazy (and we eventually had to find another place for her because her birth mother was being scary and the judge wouldn't terminate custody), but she was family and she was wonderful.

Making loving homes for people who actually need them is a great great good.

[artdreams1.livejournal.com]

There is horrible abuse, no doubt. I would be interested to see some big picture stats from groups other than Bethany-who-should-all-be-locked-in-closets.

My friends who adopted last June (gay male couple, MN) were involved in THREE adoption attempts that the birthmom bonded at the last second and their prepared nursery lay empty. It was like having 3 still births, esp the one a year ago when the guys attended all the prenatals and the actual birth.

In MN at least, open adoption is a reality and the mom can change her mind anytime in the following, I think, 35 days.

Their successful placement happened when their counselor contacted them with a teen couple who knew they weren't in the position to be raising a child. They were so afraid to trust the process again, but all of the birth family members independently chose the guys as the best parents. They are still in touch.

I'm glad all of this is hitting the fan because coercion and child trafficking are criminal. At the same time, there are 26 (TWENTY SIX) pregnant or delivered teen moms at the EOC this year, over 10%. It would be such a blessing to both the babies and the girls if they could consider the option of allowing stable, loving couples to nurture the babies in open adoption.

[gement.livejournal.com]

I am really, really glad your friends went with an ethical agency, even with all the heartaches it caused along the way.

Re EOC moms: Biology just has this really big hook about keeping your offspring in sight at all costs, y'know? :)