So. Much. Accomplishment.

Project Puppet Head proceeds apace.

I have a stopwatch! Which I have not used for sexual purposes, you Torchwood perverts. Mostly. But it's for tracking my productive hours, which have been Many on most days. The goal is 6 productive hours, 5 days a week, including active self-care like walking and cooking actual meals.

( Matters of Consequence, ADD management )

It turns out I have been too depressed by work to do much for about a year, or possibly two. I've just had no brains, drifting through the world in a dreamlike state of overload. I wouldn't have gotten to Gally if arjache hadn't booked and tracked everything for me. The shift to calling people in a timely fashion and finding out about money stuff that needs fixing in a timely fashion instead of two months late is remarkable.

Also, the shift to having enough wherewithall to do things like... well, example: I wanted desperately to play Flash games the other evening. I could feel, in my brain, that this would lead to a late night and jonesing for more the next day. On the other hand, I'd already done a lot of work, it was all I wanted to do in the whole world, and I didn't want to get into a pattern of feeling like I never got to have any fun. That way lies throwing it all over in a binge.

So I said, "Okay, brain. I'm going to go sit and stare at the wall for twenty minutes. If I still want Flash games after that, we'll play Flash games." I sat, and I stared, and I was bored, and felt successful about doing it, and then still wanted Flash games but knew even more clearly that it was a bad, bad, bad idea. So I told Jason, and we went and played a findy game together, and after half an hour I realized I was exhausted. So I went to bed early and slept like a rock for 10 hours. I haven't been that aware of my needs in a year.

( My baggage about caffeine. Blah blah New Age blah chemical dependency as moral weakness blah blah. )

[Poll #1711458]