gement | Um... any Morpheus slash fans out there?

I got the script fragment below from Zion Mainframe; it says it's the DVD version. I have only changed a word here or there, and cut extraneous bits for humor. Changes are [bracketed] or underlined. This is mostly Bart's doing; he's the one with the head for movie lines. I take the honor and responsibility of the original line below, though.

Suffice it to say that this is NOT work-safe. Yet another random brainchild of me and Bart geeking out together all day yesterday. It's quite possible this adaption has already been done, but hey, I didn't read it.

"Operator. I need Kama Sutra."

Neo's body spasms and relaxes as his eyes open, breath hissing from his lips. He looks like he just orgasmed. [Original script line!]

NEO: This is incredible. I know Kama Sutra.
MORPHEUS: Show me.

INT. DOJO

They are standing in a very sparse Japanese-style dojo.

MORPHEUS: This is a training program, similar to the programmed reality of the Matrix. It has the same basic rules. Rules like gravity. What you must learn is that these rules are no different than the rules of a computer system. Some of them can be bent. Others can be broken. Understand?

He assumes a "ready" stance.

MORPHEUS: Then take me, if you can.

[Action ensues.]

Tank monitors their Life Systems, noticing that Neo is wildly and chaotically lit up as opposed to the slow and steady rhythm of Morpheus.

INT. MESS HALL

MOUSE bursts into the room, interrupting dinner.

MOUSE: Morpheus is taking on Neo!

All at once, everyone bolts for the door.

INT. DOJO

Neo's face is knotted, teeth clenched, as he hurls himself into Morpheus.

MORPHEUS: Good. Adaptation. Improvisation. But your weakness isn't your technique.

[More action.] Neo falls.

Panting, on his hands and knees, blood spits from his mouth, speckling the white floor of the dojo.

MORPHEUS: How did I beat you?
NEO: You -- you're too fast.
MORPHEUS: Do you think my being faster, stronger has anything to do with my muscles in this place?

Neo is frustrated, still unable to catch his breath.

MORPHEUS: Do you believe that's air you are breathing now?

Neo stands, nodding slowly.

MORPHEUS: Again.

[Action!]

INT. MAIN DECK

Everyone is gathered behind Tank watching the show.

MOUSE: Jeeezus Keeerist! He's fast! Look at his neural-kinetics! They're way above normal!

INT. DOJO

MORPHEUS: Come on, Neo. What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are. Know you are.
MORPHEUS: Come on! Stop trying to fuck me and just fuck me!

[Action!]

INT. MAIN DECK

There are several gasps.

MOUSE: I don't believe it!

I know. I'm going to hell. But I'm laughing all the way.