gement | The cat is "helping."

A couple hours of sobbing, some great talk help from Jason, and a good night's sleep later, I feel much, much better. As

garillama says, "Cheer up, emu kids!"

Observations:
+ Tuesdaylast I finished my quarter, then slept.
+ Wednesday I got a massage, ran a few errands, then gleefully played Puzzle Pirates as planned.
- Thursday I played Puzzle Pirates all day against intentions and felt crappy.
+ Friday I read a mystery novel (from the Amsterdam Cops series), watched 5 episodes of B5, did laundry and cleaned house. Edit:Then

plantae and her housemate came over for Puerto Rico, which was a lovely end to the day. (A lot happened that day and I forgot.)
+ Saturday I helped

xmurf pack and went to

sistawendy's DDR party.
+ Sunday I went to dinner and learned to play Mah Jongg with Jason and dkitty's household.
- Monday I poked at the computer all day and felt crappy.

Jason points out that I may have had some serious emotional stuff to process from Saturday's packing job that I couldn't do on Sunday because of Mah Jongg. We also talked about my coping mechanisms, which I generally think of as "broken." But if you think of my life as a car, I may not be getting maximum fuel efficiency, but I'm certainly getting from place to place. This is a tune-up issue, and it's still worth fixing, but it's not preventing me from getting through what I need to.

Instead of "it's sabotaging," I'm working on thinking of my coping mechanism's perspective, which is that it's "helping." Like the cat in the kitchen, but that's not malicious. Ways to use this form of "help":

1) Since I know the response pattern, I can use the pattern as a mine detector; if I'm compulsively avoiding, what is causing my stress?
2) Postponing emotional fallout until I'm in a safe time and place to process.
3) Calming down if I'm verging on manic - my avoidance behaviors are always soothing.

And occasionally I trip and drop a cup of flour on the "helpful" cat. It happens. I just need to keep an eye on the little beast.

Oh, and happy Spring!