(no subject)
Jun. 28th, 2006 12:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gementLately:
There has been another Serious Talk with Jason, which went well as such things go and no hearts broken. I am still working on figuring out what I need to change so that I'm not making the crazy instead of thinking of him as a fixer-upper. It's toxic and icky.
I now own those funny plastic shoes called Crocs. In black, so I can wear them to work at PictureCompany next week (yay, summer job!). Because this city is geeky.
I'm reading a spectacular book called Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, and the Truth about Reality, written by Brad Warner who is, in chronological order, a punk rocker, an employee of the company that produces Ultraman, and a zen master. It is rocking my world REALLY hard.
This book has inspired me to pull out my notebook for quotes, which I haven't used in a long while. The writing style is aggressively conversational, and he's speaking my language. I'd love to argue with him in person about some of his generalizations. :) He encourages that sort of thing. Several times he makes a statement and then whips around and says something like 'Are you just taking that at face value? Stop it! I said question everything, remember?'
But the really rock-my-world part is that this guy is not even in the same ballpark as the happy fluffy "clear your mind and find enlightenment" versions. He says the word Enlightenment just messes people up. He says sitting meditation is boring and frustrating, but it makes his life work better so he does it anyway. I can get along with that.
I had other things I wanted to say with this post, but that was earlier and before I started rocking out on Zen and now I can't remember them. They probably involved being proud of getting a lot done this week and the way my body slows into Hometown mode when the weather goes above 90F. Whatever. Halfway through this book it's easier to deal with my numbing fear that all my memories will slip away if I don't type them into LJ. The fear is still there, of course. But it's a lot easier to deal with.
There has been another Serious Talk with Jason, which went well as such things go and no hearts broken. I am still working on figuring out what I need to change so that I'm not making the crazy instead of thinking of him as a fixer-upper. It's toxic and icky.
I now own those funny plastic shoes called Crocs. In black, so I can wear them to work at PictureCompany next week (yay, summer job!). Because this city is geeky.
I'm reading a spectacular book called Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, and the Truth about Reality, written by Brad Warner who is, in chronological order, a punk rocker, an employee of the company that produces Ultraman, and a zen master. It is rocking my world REALLY hard.
This book has inspired me to pull out my notebook for quotes, which I haven't used in a long while. The writing style is aggressively conversational, and he's speaking my language. I'd love to argue with him in person about some of his generalizations. :) He encourages that sort of thing. Several times he makes a statement and then whips around and says something like 'Are you just taking that at face value? Stop it! I said question everything, remember?'
But the really rock-my-world part is that this guy is not even in the same ballpark as the happy fluffy "clear your mind and find enlightenment" versions. He says the word Enlightenment just messes people up. He says sitting meditation is boring and frustrating, but it makes his life work better so he does it anyway. I can get along with that.
I had other things I wanted to say with this post, but that was earlier and before I started rocking out on Zen and now I can't remember them. They probably involved being proud of getting a lot done this week and the way my body slows into Hometown mode when the weather goes above 90F. Whatever. Halfway through this book it's easier to deal with my numbing fear that all my memories will slip away if I don't type them into LJ. The fear is still there, of course. But it's a lot easier to deal with.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 11:50 pm (UTC)It would be easy to say "If that ball of issues wasn't there, everything would be GREAT!" but I know we could come up with something else. It's a pretty yucky ball, though, and I'd rather have it worked out and deal with something else, because there's a bit in the back of my head that's always unhappy about it.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-01 12:10 am (UTC)Have you tried coming up with all the LOGICAL reasons you're unhappy about it? And also listing how it makes you feel?
And then asking him to come up with a similar list to present his side?
Sometimes really understanding the why can help the two of you come up with a third solution.
Hubby says you should go visit Portland in July. :)