Where's my cow?

[gement]

So on Monday I worked out (with help) that I'd been chemically depressed for at least a week, probably longer. I've been much, much worse, and I'm dealing with it earlier and more directly than I suspect I ever have before. But it still sucks.

It was a royally huge tip-off that something was wrong last Friday when I skipped tutoring, then sat at my computer in the dark all day loathing myself instead of either tutoring or working on classwork. Then at 5:30 Jason called and said, "We're missing Terry Pratchett!" to which I replied, "Crap! I've got tickets already!" to which he exulted, "Great, it's at 7, we can make it in plenty of time"... and it took almost half an hour of coaching to get me out of the house.

Possible chemical effects there. The appearance was fantastic, by the way, even though it was immediately preceded by eating a cheeseburger from a campus vending machine which was obviously leased by Mr. Dibbler. I've never before been that daunted by finishing a burger. I mean... gristle! Nyeaugh.

Which reminds me, last time he was here, I got a copy of "Where's My Cow?", which I have since, ironically, lost. I'm really wondering if I loaned it to one of y'all. So, where's my cow?

In other news, since I was frozen in despair for a good week or so, I've been running like mad for several days to keep up with suddenly-due assignments, and then last night I was flattened by a migraine, so today marks my first late assignment in grad school ever. And I feel justified instead of ashamed. Go me. I think.

Edit: Oh, right, really go me! Monday, having identified that I was really truly depressed and having a sobbing fit from the pain of the realization, I had Jason phone-escort me out of the house down to my bus stop. I fiddled with using the headset for the first time and made sure I had my backpack and realized as the bus rolled up and I reached for my pass that... my belt pack wasn't on. That's right, receptacle of my keys, money, ID, and bus pass was locked in my house.

And my Vimes programming kicked in. I spent a moment panicking, then turned south and started walking toward campus. I go to class. No matter what. Got there three minutes late. The perfect attendance record is intact, and if that set of circumstances didn't stop me, well, I won't say "nothing will," but anything that does I'll feel justified in not attending.

(Special thanks to lunar__angel for phone-walking with me and to spaced for giving me warm and hospitable refuge until my housemates got home.)

Comments

[capnexposition.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on Vimes-ing over your moment of panic. A perfect attendance record is a powerful tool in college for making one continue attending. In middle and high school, one is a "loser" if one has a perfect attendance record. In college though, it transforms one into some sort of awe-inspiring super-student(in the eyes of ones' peers, anyway. What we see in the mirror is still our own gig...)

Not to add distractions to your already stressed life, but I have resumed playing KoS regularly during the downtime at work, and I found Parsley is still there, as is the Freddie Mercury Posse, of which Poing is still a member. You should log in now and then, and say "hey". I am improving the clan clubhouse significantly. On a similar note, do you still have the Tiny Plastic Sword I gave you? If you do and you're not using it, could I borrow it back? I want to stock the clan larder with delicious mixed drinks.

In any case at all, what is your class schedule like this quarter? We should meet for lunch or tea, and engage in light conversation. Do say yes. ^^